Being ”myself”

When are you really yourself?
When am I able to state that ”this is really and truly me”?
I wanted to be ”myself”, which is the background for my interest in undergoing a surgery to change my sexual gender – is a not so very uncommon outcry among some men and women in the present society.
I want to be ”myself” and I want to earn respect as the one that I ”really am”.
All this kind of psychological chitchat is a mess: a mixture of self illusions and the results of how I have been treated by the significant others around me.
I, myself, is nothing more and nothing less then the product of some genetic basic keys, the outcome of my upbringing, which really affected my personality development and , even more, the ongoing, dynamic relations with the others. In that respect I am a living part of several groups I belong to, almost like a cake that is sent into and out from different ovens over and over again: somewhat too much burned here, somewhat damaged there, suddenly quite happy, next minute drawn down a bit, suddenly really bright, but in the next two hours not so very sharp in my thinking. And so it goes. Man is very complex.
So, you thought you could really be ”yourself”? OK, but only if the significant and important ones around you really appreciate and support this idea of yours. Sorry, but that is how it works.