It is time to turn page

It is not that easy to look back into the history of one’s life. There are so many events and so many ups and downs. Do I remember them all? No, it is impossible. And if it is difficult to look back it is impossible to have a look into the future – you just don´t know what will happen when you have turned around the corner in front of you. There are always corners everywhere.
Just looking at the here-and-now is somewhat dull, almost meaningless. Now is just a flow of seconds and minutes, the light falling over my laptop, papers in a mess all over my desk. It is nothing in the now that is worth telling anyone about.
Back to my history. Even though it is not that easy to pick up and to find the essence of my history there are anyhow stories that I long for sharing with others. Not because I want others to listen (or to read); it is more a need of my own to get things out of my chest.
Getting things out my chest is to turn page. When it is out of my chest – it is out and not still within. I think that most people ought to tell stories about life – their life.
One chapter in the book of my personal life is about being deceived and fooled. It is a story of how first inviting some younger colleagues of mine to a very fascinating work for a big international company, providing them with some of my experiences and some of my tools (and one company name that my wife and I previously created and used during many years) to somewhat later just finding them turning their back to me. So far nothing to do about it. It is the old story about kids trying their best to get rid of the previous authority.
But it became some degrees hotter when I found out that they started to spread lies about me. Not nice – and I could not understand the reasons. The most problematic situation for me appeared when I was confronted with – the absolute silence, the disappearance of communication. They neglected to take a debate with me, refused to discuss the situation, their backs stiff and mute, letting me sit there in the silence. They just disappeared in the fog (yes, I tried in vain, sending messages, asking questions). Years have passed by – and not a single word…
Do I pity myself? I have to admit: it sounds just like that. But I have also to admit that I am not the one that suffer that much. My general life is in order. I have achieved lots of things that I have hoped for and it is not difficult for me to look around and to state that I am a lucky guy. I am still healthy, I am still quite energetic, I am still at work (when I want to), I am a senior member of an enlarging, growing, wonderful family. I have several very good friends and I can afford to eat everyday.
So, why complain?
Well, I am not sure that I am complaining.
I am just trying to get things out of my chest. In order to turn page in my personal Life Book. It is a process that I happen to believe is helpful and useful, at least for me, myself.